Funny Short Quotes

Tickle Your Funny Bone With These Funny Short Quotes

There are various forms of humor. But humor that is clipped and concise is the most hilarious. Likewise, while there are lots of funny quotes, the ones that are brief are the ones that make you laugh the hardest. Here are some funny short quotes that promise to tickle your funny bone.

Mark Twain



Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Gore Vidal



Never have children, only grandchildren.

Elayne Boosler



I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

Lily Tomlin



If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

Bertrand Russell



Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.

William Shakespeare



The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Lisa Hoffman



Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important.

Quentin Crisp



If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Mary Schmich



Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Jonathan Winters



I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

Mark Twain



Familiarity breeds contempt... and children.

Funny Love Quotes

Love can present a variety of funny situations. Love makes a person defy logic. These funny love quotes remind us that sometimes love is not just blind; it is also insane!

W. Somerset Maugham

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

Barbara Pym

How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it.

Israel Zangwill

The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.

Anonymous

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'

Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Mae West

It's better to be looked over than overlooked.

Lily Tomlin

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

Ingrid Bergman

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back.

Rita Rudner

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.